i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
