What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
