so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
