OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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