I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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