awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
