U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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