So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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