spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
