Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
