I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
