Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
