no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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