We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
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She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
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The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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