id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How does it feel to date your dad?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
