How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i came on her dog
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
