your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize