And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Randomize