Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
