Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
