I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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