I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
