Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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