I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
