I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
