I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize