i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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