I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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