Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize