the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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