At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
