just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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