and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize