oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
