i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize