WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
