This girl is more easily done than said...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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