at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize