it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
