lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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