Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
