She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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