I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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