just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
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I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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