All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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