Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
