one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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