If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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