***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
