did you get engaged???
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
