My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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