dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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