i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
